Exam Week!!!!! >.<

Monday(18/5/2009): So yeah...today was the 1st day of exam...but really didn't give a shit.... had my shower and stuff....had breakfast....online....I was pretty much in a good mood...so went to school....carried nothing but my pencil box there....yeah....so...saw Cheryl and talked to her...I remember I talked to her bout something but I don't know if she heard it or not....even if she did hear...she didn't care...that made me feel sad....<=(...neway on with and then we talked and SK kept asking who likes Sean....her ex boy which now belongs to KJ....and was in my class....I was like 'Uh...I have no idea' but she glare at me and told me that I knew...and I was like 'No,I don't' which was a lie...cause I clearly knew....who it was....-looks away- neway Kelly came and she was like 'It could either be you or Jinger' she said to me and I kinda panic in my head...but she being observant, noticed my behaviour had change a little and she was like Ping! A light bulb on top of her head and whispered something to Shanice and Jeslyn....this I got even more panic cause she and I know it wasn't Jinger....but I didn't show it and looked calm...I think....neway Jin came and I immediately told her bout that Kelly might know....and she was like....I actually forgot what Jin did or was it Cheryl I was talking to? I seriously forgot...neway I remember us getting away from canteen and had asked Jin and Cher(This I rememeber) to the toilet...alone...but when Kel saw them going...she followed along with Shan,Jeslyn and SK. And I was Oh great...they followed and Kel said to me 'It's you right? Am I right?Am I right?' God....wanted to punch her just to shut her up but if I did...that would have confirmed that she IS right. So yeah...all the gang went to toilet...what great joy!...Not!....then we went to directly to class without doing our attendance due to the prefect also studying for exams.... and then the class was kinda noisy until the teacher arrived and then it was time for the exam! Dum dum duuuuummmmmm!...Good old drama music to add the effect for the story =D...neway our 1st test was Bahasa Malaysia 2...I couldn't concentrate due to what ifs in my head...what if they all found out? What if one of them told him that I like him? I was panicking like hell there...and then I started thinking...should I stop talking,sms-ing n msn-ing him? and I was like Damn you Kelly...why did you have to do this to me! And I got so frustrated over the whole thing that I started crying...should I give up the one I like just to prove her wrong? I was so scared and I was crying...I cried til I fell asleep...then I don't know how many minutes have passed but it was still a long way go to finishing....so I did only one section and the rest....to hell with them but then...I started crying...again...my heart was seriously breaking and I felt extreme coldness and fingers started to hurt cause they need to dig into something...but I don't want to dig into my skin anymore...so when test finished and we were free to leave our seat I quickly wipe off my tears and hope that it wasn't obvious and went to Jinger...but Jin was like in a non caring mood. So I thought that me had just cried was not so obvious. So I follow her into the toilet...while she did her thing...I looked in the mirror and I looked like a wreck and use water to wash my face and I couldn't help but kept blaming Kelly again and again and how I wish something had happened to her so she wouldn't be able to talk ever again...but once I washed and wiped...I look myself in the mirror...I felt the pain in my heart...again...and so I was tearing up again but when Jin came out...I quickly blink back my tears... and so we went out and she wanted to eat and I waited for Cheryl...and I waited for Cheryl for a long time...then got tired and just went up...to get her but when she saw me...she said' Why are you crying?' By then I started tearing up again...I couldn't found my words which strain my throat which made me wanted to cry more...but then little Miss Cheryl got impatient and started to swear at me saying 'You better fucking tell me why you're fucking crying before I get fucking impatient!' Then I stopped walking to the canteen while she still walked and I quickly went to the garden while going there, I met with Joanne and she asked me what was wrong and I just told her I was sick til I started to cry...that was not a lie....but my sick was the not like coughing cold kind of sick but sick of having friends who didn't give a bull about me. Once I was at the garden, I started crying really HARD...this time it wasn't just cause I was frustrated but it was cause of Cheryl being uncaring and insensitive...I didn't rush you to tell me what happened when you cry...I didn't scold at you when you were hurt...I didn't swear at you when your life was feeling like it was about to fall apart but I waited...waited for you...waited til you found the right words to say to me...all your pain...all your sadness...all your frustration...I would be there to listen and to care...even if I couldn't change the things that has happened or help you...I would at least be there for you...but you...you don't care...you were insensitive...you care about your yourself...and it pained me a lot...like I've said...once I've seen your tears...I don't ever want to see them again but your smiling face...that goes to all of you who are the closest to me: Jinger,Kelly,Cheryl,Jeslyn,Sze Ker and some more...but I don't want people like Shanice or KJ to "comfort" me...their comfort just make me angry...so yeah back to the story...after I was done crying...I left the garden and back to class and just like I expected the gang haven't came back yet and are still eating...-sigh- then Shue Ru saw me crying and she asked me why was I crying...Like Joanne's answer I told her I was sick and had tummy ache....Lie....and so I went to look out the window and saw them coming...I quickly ran away and went outside....the other way...I only ran from them was cause I didn't want to look or face Cher...after the crappy way she treated me...and by that time...I didn't want to tell her anything...but I wanted to tell someone about the reason I was crying so I went to Jasmine...and I asked her to come out of her class and she immediately rush to my side seeing my tears streaked face...so I couldn't told her half the story but her teacher came...so she went back inside and then I had to face them now...and so I talked to Cheryl and suddenly out of nowhere these hands were around my neck hugging me behind my back and I kinda screamed and it was Shanice and she said 'They said you have been crying' and at this point I got pissed...How dare she go and tell them I'm crying after the crappy way she treated me??!!!!! (but then again even if she didn't tell them...they would still know...-.-u...but still don't want her to tell...very KPC aka busybody) then it was test again...this time Sivik...so yeah I just simply do....and then started to cry again....(I'm a big cry baby) neway after test was done....went to talk to Jin and I asked her did you know I cry and she said yeah and said she already knew when we went to the toilet and I also have decided to tell Kelly that I do like...him...-blush- and she was like 'yay...uh huh I'm right' and Me and Jinger told her it's actually a secret and she was like gasped and quickly fixed the damage she sorta done...and all that time...I was scared for nothing....and I was glad that I told her...and quickly took back what I wish bout her and something happen to her voice....I feel really happy to have Kelly...neway....then test again...English Part 1 which was like easy for me and I felt so much better and I smiled all the way through the test....so yeah...school ended after we have done our test and so I went and have my shower and dinner and went to tuition. Zhenyi didn't came so I was scraed of being left out again....but Sze Ker sat next to me and talked to me about stuff and asked who is the person that like Sean and while sms-ing Selena....she found out that Selena is Sean so have to lied that my dad checks my phone and had to change Sean's name into a girl's name and I told her that was another Selena...and I quickly put my mom's phone number and put her name as Selena and saved it and showed it to SK...and SK still wasn't that convinced...so yeah....we gossiped bout him,KJ and something bout friendster...about how KJ changed all of Sean's friendster into the way it was so...gaggable...so yeah...then Sean sms her and begged her for a 2nd chance and SK said he was still on with KJ so Sean immediatey broke up with KJ...(I feel sorry for her cause she started to like the guy and the guy just broke up with he rin just 3 days....lols) then...yea....Even though SK forgave Sean, he thought they were together again and started to call her wifey....but she sms him saying...just cause I forgave you doesn't mean we're on and I was like...-.-u...lols to Sean so yeah...Byes....

Tuesday(19/5/2009):So yeah...nothing much here....test of the day:Mathematics 1,Chinese 1 n 2
That was short...-.-u

Wednesday(20/5/2009):Okay....also um...don't know what to say here...Me and Cheryl said something til I told her to fuck you...and she was like fuck me and so yeah...I ended losing in that argument...-.-u and so yeah....the gang:Shanice,Sze Ker and Jeslyn and someone else I don't remember...started gossip bout me whether if I really like Sean or not...Damn you Kelly...wish you were not a loud mouth and dumber....then yeah...test of the day was:Mathematics 2,Gym(paper not doing activities) and Geography so yeah...I also found out that Jeslyn does knows....about my crush for SK's boy and also Sean and SK are back on...I'm 45%happy and 65% sad...but if he's happy I don't care... neway...Jeslyn knows thanks to Jasmine....I was about to cry...yes I did felt anger but I didn't had the energy to have an argument with her and this was her 10th betrayal to me...I feel so stupid and naive thinking that she had changed and that she really does cherish our friendship...so now I don't want anything to do with her anymore....

Thursday(21/5/2009): I have a thought...the next time she(Cheryl) tells me to fuck her after I said fuck you....I'm seriously gonna push her to a wall and kissed her which will lead to our "fucking" and lets see if she will still say go right ahead and fuck her....XD neway...test of the day: Science(Omg! So bloody scared like shit! Please pass), English part 2 and Bahasa Malaysia 2. So today was....um...okay? Neway...I gave up...and I told everyone that I DO like Sean....I hope all of you are happy....=_= neway...Sze Ker was calm when I told her and btw...she called Sean and told him that I like him...but that was before I told her....-.-....kinda a bitch in a way...neway...that's all I remember....end

Friday(22/5/2009): Don't really remember anything..but tests of the day: Art and Moral. Neway drew a pic of four mugs...I drew one smiling smilie and an emo smilie...and put 'A smile a day makes the emo go away'....lols....yeah...neway drew another mug with two people drinking and wrote 'BEER TIME!' Lols....neway....so yeah....and also KJ finally returned me my money...RM1O5...yays? Neway I feel pity for KJ...I really do...among our gang...I'm the kindest and quietest...and the most mental one...-akward laugh-...yeah...

Monday(25/5/2009):So...slept at 5a.m. in the morning...woke up cause Jasmine's delivery came to my house and then slept again and woke again at 11.26a.m. and then quicly got ready for school...dad was sick...poor dad...neway went to school...made Cher pissed...It's so easy to make her pissed...why did I make her pissed? Tell you in my next Blog...neway....she got so mad that she left...then I talked to KJ n Rani and then went to study hall and saw Shan,Kel and Hoi Ley and hang and talked with them....told Shan she should use sunsilk....the orange coloyr one.... and Kel said that I'm peli Shan...and I was like what the hell is peli?....so yeah...then stuff happened and we went to canteen and I think Cheryl has cool down cause she touch my long side burn...and SK kept calling me to go to a camp....that I don't know if I wanna go....so yeah....then Jin came and we talked about stuff then went to class...so test of the day was: History and Physics....so yeah....while doing test, my stomach kept grumbling...cause didn't had breakfast and lunch...so yeah...neway...I smiled a lot cause I kept think about him....-blush- and then recess and went to toilet with Jin then went to canteen after that. I had Keow Tiao Teng... and kinda sat alone...but then Cze Ying joined me....why is there always almost no place for me to sit....neway talked to Cze Ying and she was the last to know about my crush for Sean...yeah...neway...stuff happen and then my friends compare me with SK. Example: I'm much darker,SK is less fatter than me,I'm short,SK will have non perfect teeth(Coz I have braces) and the list goes on. So yeah then test again and then it's back to good old boring classes again...what joy....-rolled eyes- neway it was Geography and Maths and I got 18 over 40 for my Maths 1. Don't remember my Geography score...so yeah...went home....did onlining....then shower and ate the noodle my sister COOKED!!!! She's only 8 and here she is cooking 4 the family...=.= and then went tuition....brother still hadn't came back from KL....but will soon....then at tuition...SK purposely gossiped about Zhenyi and I kinda sms Sean and I showed SK the sms....I begged her to not make him feel like crap....and asked her does she care for Sean and she says she doesn't know....I just comforted him...poor guy....saying things like: Don't be sad, It's not that she doesn't care...she's just busy and stuff like that and so yeah...it made me feel sad cause he was sad...<=(... wish SK won't do this to him....then yeah came home and quickly blog and stuff...now it's 2 something in the morning...and just check myself in the mirror and damn...I have really DARK bags under my eyes and my skin i unheatly looking so yea...gonna sleep now...Byes...